As a financial advisor, I’ve had countless conversations with middle-aged clients who are finding themselves in a challenging position—caring for both their children and their aging parents. This “sandwich generation” is facing unique financial and emotional pressures that can feel overwhelming at times.

This week, let’s talk about these pressures and how to navigate them.

The Financial Strain

It is becoming increasingly common for middle-aged Americans to continue supporting their children well into adulthood. A Thrivent study found that nearly half of the parents surveyed had their kids “boomerang” back home. The reasons for this are complicated (some point to the rising cost of living or stagnant wages, while others say that parents are too lax with this generation of new adults). Additionally, it is becoming increasingly common for young adults to rely on parental assistance well into their 20s and 30s, with parents helping with rent, tuition, phone bills, car payments, or other everyday expenses. This can all create unexpected financial strain.

At the same time, aging parents may require significant financial support as they face mounting healthcare costs, the need for in-home care, or the transition to assisted living facilities. These expenses can quickly add up and stretch the family’s budget even further.

Trying to balance these competing financial obligations can make it difficult for the sandwich generation to save for their own retirement. They may be forced to dip into their savings or take out loans to cover the costs of caring for both their children and parents.

The Emotional Toll

In addition to the financial burden, caring for both children and parents can take an immense emotional toll. Middle-aged adults may find themselves torn between the needs of their aging parents and the demands of raising their own kids.

The stress of coordinating medical appointments, managing medications, and making difficult decisions about long-term care for their parents can be overwhelming. At the same time, they may still be navigating the challenges of parenting teenagers or young adults, who require a different kind of emotional support.

When juggling so many responsibilities, it can be difficult for this “in between generation” to find time for themselves. This can lead to feelings of guilt, burnout, and resentment. It can also make it tough to find time for self-care (exercising, eating a balanced diet, getting sufficient sleep, taking meaningful breaks, etc.), which is essential for maintaining mental and physical health.

Finding Balance and Support

It’s crucial for middle-aged adults in the sandwich generation to prioritize their own well-being and seek out support systems. This may involve delegating tasks, enlisting the help of other family members, or utilizing community resources and services.

Financial planning is also key. I suggest working with a trusted financial advisor to develop strategies to manage your expenses, protect your savings, and plan for the future.

Additionally, it’s important for this in-between generation to advocate for themselves and their needs. This may involve having difficult conversations with their children and parents about setting boundaries and expectations, as well as seeking out counseling or support groups to help cope with the emotional stress.

By acknowledging the unique challenges faced by the sandwich generation and taking proactive steps to address them, middle-aged Americans can find a path forward that allows them to care for their loved ones while also preserving their own well-being.

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