Retirement is something that people generally look forward to—all that freedom to do whatever you want! You can pick up an old hobby or learn a new skill. You can golf in the morning and read a book in the evening. You can travel cross-country without having to notify your workplace, plan far in advance, or put up a vacation responder. This all sounds appealing, but a funny thing happens once people finally step into retirement: they tend to go through a period of grieving.

This may sound odd, but it is absolutely true and incredibly common. I’ve talked with numerous clients about their post-retirement lives, and it’s often a mixed bag. They’re happy with their newfound freedoms, but they miss many aspects of the workplace. Some of what they miss includes:

A sense of identity

It’s common for a new acquaintance to ask, “And what do you do?” Most employed people will respond with their job title or a brief description of their work. “I’m an engineer.” “I teach second grade.” “I run my own real estate company.” If you’ve been at the same job for years, or decades, it becomes part of your identity. What happens when that aspect of your identity goes away? That can be unsettling or even distressing. It’s not the same to say, “I used to be an engineer.”

What to do?

Most of my clients are happiest when they keep busy and take on some sort of new identity. They might volunteer for an organization, run a committee, take a deep interest in a hobby, or perhaps work one day each week as a consultant in their industry. By pouring themselves into their interests or doing some kind of meaningful work, they can refocus their identity.

Routine

Most people experience a fairly rigid work schedule during the decades they’re employed. They wake up at a certain time, go through their morning routine, start work at a certain hour, do their work, go home. This cycle repeats the next day, and the next, and the next. Many of us thrive with a routine—it helps our subconscious brain know what’s next. When we suddenly enter retirement, we might feel aimless or unmoored by the lack of habitual behaviors.

What to do?

A post-work routine is certainly possible! If you’re the type that thrives on repetition, try establishing some kind of retirement routine for yourself. Maybe you wake up at the same time every morning, do a little workout, call a friend, do an hour of volunteer work, etc. Intentionally carving out a new routine can help erase feelings of listlessness.

A regular paycheck

Many people are accustomed to receiving a paycheck every other week from their workplace. That paycheck signifies comfort and security—it’s a sure thing. When the biweekly paycheck goes away, fear can creep in. A retiree might begin to worry about money more than ever before, or they may not know how to navigate the logistics of pulling money from their retirement funds.

What to do?

I encourage everyone to talk with a financial planner about money logistics before starting retirement. First of all, the retiree should feel confident that he or she has enough to get by (and then some) for the rest of their days. This includes taking into account inflation and financial emergencies. Secondly, the financial planner should educate the future retiree on how to pull money from various funds and which funds to tap into first.

 

In my experience, the retirees that thrive are those who enter retirement with a solid financial plan in place, establish a routine, and start exploring different hobbies and volunteer opportunities that connect them with others and give them a sense of accomplishment. Even though a retiree may grieve the life they once had, it is possible to find purpose outside of work. We are more than a job title or a nine-to-five routine, and retirement can help us explore other sides of ourselves. That’s a cause for celebration, not grief.

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