I recently heard a statistic that 20% of all committed couples hide finances from each other. That means one person out of every five has a secret bank account, credit card, or checking account that they intentionally hide from their partner. Though this may seem harmless enough, there are actually very real consequences that could occur from obfuscating your finances.
For one, the simple act of hiding money indicates a lack of trust. Household finances run much more smoothly when couples engage in open, honest conversations about money. If one person is shuffling money into a secret account or using a secret credit card, that indicates that either A) that person believes their partner will try to tap into their extra cash or B) they believe their partner won’t approve of their excess spending and will try to stop it.
Either way, this lack of trust can easily corrode a relationship and can make joint financial planning complicated and muddy.
Secondly, a lack of financial transparency can make it difficult to plan for the future. Most couples plan their future together–major household projects, big life events (a son or daughter’s wedding, a new child, etc.), retirement–and they rely on financial honesty to adequately make their plans. If one person is obfuscating their finances, that makes it difficult for the couple (or a financial advisor) to fully grasp their monetary situation and plan accordingly.
Third, any financial issues that result from the hidden bank account or credit card could potentially harm both people in the relationship. If, for instance, one person is struggling with credit card debt, that will inevitably affect that person’s credit score, which can make it difficult to apply jointly for a loan or to refinance a house. Additionally, if one person racks up a large amount of debt, it may fall on the shoulders of both people to settle the deficit–something that would certainly strain a relationship!
Monetary transparency is key to having a healthy financial relationship. I encourage having candid conversations about both spending and saving. Even if you or your partner are struggling with money management (or are recovering from past debts), it is worth being brave and having those uncomfortable conversations. Your honesty will help pave the way toward a prosperous future.