on February 8, 2022
February is known to be the month of love. We spend money on flowers, chocolates, and fancy dinners. If a significant other is not in the picture, we are told to be kind to ourselves and indulge in a little pampering. There is nothing wrong with those expressions of love, but I encourage you to engage in a type of love that is a little more challenging: loving differences.
Today, we seem to have difficulty engaging in conversations with those who have differing opinions. We only see the gaps between us, instead of the commonalities. And that’s a shame! There is so much we can learn from one another—so many stories, lessons, and perspectives we can gain from talking with those who are different from ourselves.
If you listen to the prevailing narrative of the news media, everything is black and white. You’re either rich, or you’re poor. You’re Republican or Democrat. Pro-science or anti-science. Urban or rural. These divides are artificial, and they do not encompass the many layers of people’s personalities. They reduce us to either “this” or “that.” Or “us” verses “them.”
In my line of work, I interact with a wide array of clients from many different backgrounds and walks of life. They all have their own worldviews and opinions. I agree with some of their perspectives, disagree with others, and am neutral on the rest. Despite our differences, I am always able to find common ground and engage in a civil dialogue. And I’m sure you can do the same! So many of us have interests that are not political—our families, gardening, good food, movies or TV shows, music, pets, etc., etc. It’s usually not hard to find a topic of discussion that isn’t volatile.
But what happens if the other person expresses a point of view that’s different from yours?
Step one: Listen! Do not immediately interject your argument or shut them down because you feel uncomfortable. Let them say their piece and attempt to learn a little about their perspective. Put yourself in their shoes and aim for understanding. When you respond, be kind.
You might frame your response like this:
“Thank you for sharing your perspective with me. I hadn’t quite thought of it like that before. From my point of view…”
You can then go on to briefly (and politely!) explain your position, if appropriate. Sometimes, however, listening is enough.
We live in an exciting world where people have a wide range of interests (painting, finance, writing, nursing), opinions, experiences, and perspectives. We should embrace these differences! Our society would not function if everyone were interested in, say, brain surgery. And life would be dull if we all agreed on everything all the time.
Difference is vital, and difference is beautiful. It’s time we stop viewing those with differing viewpoints as the “enemy” and start seeing each other’s humanity.