Finding Common Ground with Everyone

Today’s world can often seem incredibly black and white. Either you support a certain politician (or political party) or you don’t. Either you’re pro-human rights or you aren’t. You believe in science or you don’t. You’re with us or against us. However, people are rarely so straightforward. We contain multitudes, and our interests, beliefs, and goals often overlap in ways that have nothing to do with our political party, demographics, or income. As a financial advisor, I meet with a wide variety of people from all backgrounds, walks of life, and perspectives. That has made me believe it is possible to find common ground with just about anyone.

When we consider the basics, many of us have the same goals and dreams. We want to live a happy and comfortable life, we want our family’s needs met, we want to be as healthy as possible, and we want the world to be safe and beautiful for future generations. If you think about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, we all require certain things to live: water, food, air, shelter, health, and more. We also crave friendship, love, self-esteem, freedom, and respect. These are the things that connect us and define our humanity.

But divisions start forming when people go about trying to achieve their needs in different ways. One person’s idea of freedom might differ from another person’s. Or one person might prioritize certain needs, while another person prioritizes others. Problems also arise when people get too greedy and take more than their share, leaving some people with nothing at all.

However, the basics are the same for nearly everyone, even though approaches and perspectives may differ. So, why do we find so much disagreement, name-calling, and discord today? Why does it seem like we’re forced to pick sides more than ever before?

I am certain a large portion of the blame rests on the media and its tendency to be sensationalist and divisive. Big, dramatic headlines sell. And many “news” outlets and social media platforms are far more concerned with traffic and clicks than they are with the simple facts. These companies, platforms, and influencers love to drum up outrage by pitting certain people and groups against each other. And the problem has only escalated. Not long ago, people were only able to watch the news once, or maybe twice, per day. They tuned in and then tuned out. Today, however, we carry around our phones, which blast us with headlines and social media notifications. It’s extremely difficult to escape all the noise and, as a result, all the talk of division and conflict.

What would happen if, instead of instantly judging each other, we took the time to actually sit down and get to know each other? What if we asked each other about our families, hobbies, interests, and volunteer groups? What if we bonded over our shared love of knitting, or travel, or heirloom tomatoes? In my experience, finding common ground is not as difficult as we’ve been made to believe. There might be a few chasms between us, but there are also bridges that can cross some of those gaps.

This month, I encourage you to turn down the volume of the divisive and sensationalist news and social media and, instead, start to get to know your neighbors, co-workers, and other people around you. When you start seeing the humanity in others, you just might encourage them to see your humanity and, in turn, the humanity of others. I think this is not only possible, but absolutely necessary to create a better and more harmonious world.