Like many good Midwestern families, we didn’t talk much about money when I was growing up. The topic came up occasionally, but never in much depth, and certainly never in front of guests. This secretive, tight-lipped attitude about money is seen as polite (I get it!), but it can also be damaging to your financial future.

During my career as a financial advisor, I’ve encountered many people who have made poor financial decisions or missteps because of a lack of communication or hesitancy to discuss their situation with an expert (let alone their significant other!). It’s a shame, because many of these errors were avoidable.

Let’s discuss a few ways the taboo of talking about money can impede our financial goals and decision-making, and how to open up and seek guidance, when necessary.

Getting on the Same Page

When you’re not on the same page, financially, as your significant other, misunderstandings and miscommunications can easily occur. One person might have wildly different spending or savings habits than the other person. Or, one person might not mind debt, while the other person works hard to avoid it.

These misunderstandings can lead to tension and annoyance, and ultimately, can interfere with achieving shared financial goals. Rather, it’s important to have open and honest conversations about money on a regular basis. This can include discussing budgeting, spending habits, debts, retirement, and long-term financial goals.

Acknowledging Shortcomings

Money is often tied to our sense of self-worth, and admitting financial struggles or mistakes can be embarrassing. This problem magnifies when we take social media into account—seeing people with their “perfect” lifestyles and no mention of money woes. These images might make us envy others’ situations, thinking they “have it together,” while we’re struggling to stay ahead.

However, keeping financial struggles hidden is counterproductive and can only make the problem worse. Talking about money with a trusted advisor or loved one can help course-correct when you’re heading down a sub-optimal path. It takes courage to admit when you need guidance, but it’s better to acknowledge shortcomings and seek help than to suffer in silence.

Sharing Lessons

We do our children a disservice when we neglect to talk about money. Why let them learn financial life lessons or tips for success through trial and error? We wouldn’t teach them how to drive a car this way! Can you imagine letting a teenager get behind the wheel and drive down a highway without classroom lessons and plenty of practice? Of course not. So why don’t we provide this same mentorship when it comes to money?

Instead, talk openly to your kids about money. Teach them how to budget and save; instruct them on how to safely use a credit card. Show them how to invest for the future and create an emergency savings account. It’s also a good idea to share your own financial mistakes and the lessons you learned from them. Kids learn by example, so modeling good money habits is essential. Let them see that financial setbacks happen to everyone and that it’s possible to recover from them.

Overcoming the Taboo

Breaking the taboo of talking about money isn’t easy, but it’s worth it in the long run. Start by having small, casual conversations about money with friends and family members. Share lessons with your children so they don’t have to make the same mistakes we did.

Another way to break the taboo of talking about money is to educate yourself. Read books, attend classes or seminars, and seek guidance from professionals. Attend financial workshops or online courses to learn more about personal finance.

Lastly, it’s crucial to seek out a financial advisor who can help guide you to make more informed decisions. It’s difficult to overstate the importance of working with a qualified financial advisor or planner. This person can provide objective advice, help you make sense of complex financial concepts, and work with you to craft a personalized financial strategy that aligns with your goals.

By breaking down barriers and discussing financial topics openly, we can make better, more informed decisions that can lead to greater financial security and freedom. So let’s start the conversation – and keep it going.

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