One thing that has become abundantly clear to me over the years is that people are more hungry for control than at any other time in history. Think about it. We can control our thermostats when we’re not even in our homes. We can order groceries at the click of a button. If we need to find a recipe, we can look it up in an instant. If we want to check the weather, we consult our phones.
So…what happens when things are NOT in our control?
Frankly, we tend to panic. When we can’t control the stock market, the negative results of the pandemic, or whether or not our children can attend in-person classes, we start to feel anxious and on-edge.
If you’ve been feeling this way, I challenge you to think of the era before smart phones (and before cell phones, in general!).
If we needed to look something up, we went to the library. If we wanted to meet up with someone, we arranged for the meeting well in advance and trusted that the person would show up at the designated place and time. If we wanted an update on the stock market’s performance, we would have to either turn on the TV and wait for an update or wait for tomorrow’s newspaper.
If we go even further back, people had to be even more patient.
In the first half of the 20th century, it was common to purchase a stock certificate, tuck it into a safe deposit box, and hang onto it for a LONG time (sometimes for life, or beyond). Can you imagine how stress-free this investment approach would be? These early investors did not run to cash in their stocks every time the market shifted downward. In fact, they scarcely paid attention to the ebbs and flows of the market.
Today, I do my best to teach my clients that same kind of patience.
I encourage them to steer clear of daily (or weekly, or even monthly…) market check-ins. I emphasize long-term thinking, planning, and investing. It simply doesn’t pay to get worked up about bear markets or downturns.
Incidentally, learning to let go is a good lesson for other parts of our lives. There is so much in life we can’t control (the news, the weather, that terrible driver cutting us off on the highway), that it’s better for our mental health to simply let those things go. Learning to roll with the punches will help you breathe easier throughout the day and can take some of the pressure off your shoulders. You can’t control everything, and you don’t have to. Instead, be kind to yourself and do your best to let life’s little annoyances go.